


Two for Trouble

by JA_Authoress



Series: Muggle Mishaps [41]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Date Night, F/M, February 1979, M/M, Nonsense, Valentine's Day, date crashing, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:10:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JA_Authoress/pseuds/JA_Authoress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>February 3, 1979</p><p>Sirius and Remus start out the night on a quest for curry.  Instead they wind up crashing James and Lily's date night.</p><p>“No worries, Prongs.  You’ll hardly even know we’re here.  Oh look! They have the scallops wrapped in bacon, your favourite, Moony.  And garlic bread! Brilliant! It’s a good thing you’re a werewolf and not a vampire, Moony, I wouldn’t want to give up garlic bread to kiss you.”</p><p>“Very true, I would have had to put up with his mooning for several more years.  Thank you Moony for being a werewolf.”</p><p>“JAMES POTTER! I wanted dinner with you! NOT you and your other halves.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two for Trouble

February 3, 1979  
5:48 p.m.

“I think I’m still full from yesterday.”

“I told you not to eat the other half of that cinnamon bun.”

“Well, because you told me not to, it made me want to eat it more.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you’d just bought me Honeyduke’s like usual.”

Sirius waved him off. He was about to start a lengthy discussion about just what exactly he had planned for the rest of the days leading up to Valentine’s Day (which definitely involved more chocolate, some bad poetry, and a dance number), when a familiar sight effectively distracted him.

“Is that Prongs and Evans?”

Remus frowned, but was unable to fully focus on the scene Sirius had just pointed out, seeing as he was unceremoniously dragged around the corner of a cute Italian restaurant (luckily, not the same one he’d tried applying to last month).

“Pads, what are you—?”

“Shhhhhhhh!”

Remus poked his head over his boyfriend’s and not-so-subtly peered into the restaurant.

James and Lily were indeed inside the restaurant. A romantic table for two in the corner, with a candle lit and everything. It looked as though they were still trying to decide what to order. 

Remus thought they looked very sweet, and really aught to be on the cover of a magazine, and was quite ready to move along in their quest for curry. Sirius—well—not so much.

“Look at them holding hands all coupley and cute. Makes you want to stir things up and put snails in the soup or something.”

“Padfoot… we are holding hands right now and we’re cute.”

“Good point, my wonderful Moony. Oh! I have an idea!”

Remus never had the chance to ask what exactly this idea was, before being, yet again, pulled along. 

“A table for two, please. Near the couple in the back, we’re actually meeting with them.” 

The concierge gave Sirius an odd look, glancing momentarily at their entwined hands (no matter how much Remus tried to hide it), before leading them to James and Lily.

James was the first to notice trouble coming. He attempted to flail subtly, without his fiancée noticing, and drive the concierge away from their romantic little corner, but it was all in vain.

“Wotcher, Evans, Prongs. Lovely evening, isn’t it?” Sirius flopped down into the seat at the table next to James. Remus carefully slid in next to Lily.

Lily looked just about ready to murder someone. The waiter was the unfortunate bloke who was suddenly at the mercy of her glare.

“Er, I’ll be back in a minute to take your order.” He said in a hurry, scurrying away.

“Black! What on earth are you two doing here?” Lily hissed.

“I’m sorry, Lily, I tried to stop him.”

“Like hell you did! I bet he did that smile you were always going on about and you just fell into step without any hesitation.”

“You like my smile?” Sirius quirked an eyebrow, taking a sip of wine out of James’s glass. “Ugh, Prongs, I know you hate wine, but did you really have to pick such expensive shite? It’s not even good, mate.”

Remus sank low into his head, covering his face with his hands.

“Could you two just leave or something? I’m trying to make up for the past few days and the—er—the kitchen.”

“No worries, Prongs. You’ll hardly even know we’re here. Oh look! They have the scallops wrapped in bacon, your favourite, Moony. And garlic bread! Brilliant! It’s a good thing you’re a werewolf and not a vampire, Moony, I wouldn’t want to give up garlic bread to kiss you.”

“Very true, I would have had to put up with his mooning for several more years. Thank you Moony for being a werewolf.”

“Love you too.”

“JAMES POTTER! I wanted dinner with you! NOT you and your other halves.”

James opened and closed his mouth several times in search of an answer. Remus and Sirius took it upon themselves to fill in the dead air.

6:29 p.m.

“And that’s how we got all those detentions in second year!”

Lily tried hard not to laugh. Really, she did, but listening to the behind the scenes stories of their Hogwarts days was too much.

Wine may or may not have come out of her nose.

“I didn’t know that was Remus’s idea!”

“Right? That’s what I love about him, you’d never suspect a thing unless you got to know him.”

“I mean, it’s all good for us, but Prongs is the one who had to suffer the most, what with the—”

“Oh sweet Merlin, please stop.” James put his head on the table. He would have tried embarrassing Sirius, or Remus even, in order to make them leave, but there were so few secrets between them that what happened in the dorm, was known by all occupants of the dorm whether they liked it or not. It’s not as though they cared if Lily knew or not either. 

There was no winning.

“Why Prongs, what a charming shade of red you are.”

“Sod off.”

“Did you hear about the time in third year—”

“Noooooooooooooooo!”

6:36 p.m.

“You know what I think would be a good name?”

“If you value your bollocks, I suggest you stop right there.”

Sirius did consider it for a moment or two, but went on anyways. “Sylvester. Now, hear me out! It’s a bloody brilliant cat, regardless of how many times that damn bird outsmarts him. Or I suppose you could call it Tweety, if you really wanted to give your child a bright future.”

James looked utterly lost.

“It’s a cartoon, love,” Lily pat her fiancé’s hand sympathetically, making a mental note to show him soon. She whipped back towards the two intruders to her date night.

Remus chose that moment to chime in.

“See, I was always considering something more along the lines of Linfred, or Hardwin. I would suggest some Indian names, but I’m sure your mother’s all over that, isn’t she?” 

“I hate you, both of you. Lily, darling, don’t you have those ‘Sirius Free Day’ coupons still?”

“Bite you tongue! It’s half six! I’m not wasting a perfectly good ‘Sirius Free Day’ on this! We’re almost done. That being said, the next person to give me baby names gets hexed.”

7:01 p.m.

“And who is taking the bill tonight?”

“He is,” Lily stated, pointing at Sirius. “Bloody well ruined a perfectly good date.”

“I don’t know, wasn’t too rubbish, was it Moony?”

“I didn’t mind it.” Remus finished off Lily’s wine. “You want me to pay half?”

Sirius barked out a laugh. “You’re not paying for any dinners this month, love.”

Remus rolled his eyes.

As the four left the restaurant, Remus watched with only a twinge of envy that James and Lily could go off in search of a “Friend Free Dessert (dammit Black, do not give me those puppy eyes after the hell you put my kitchen through!)”, and openly act as a couple.

Sirius didn’t care about what the public thought in the least, and wrapped Remus’s arm around him.

“Perfect date night.”

Remus’s heart did a jaunty little skip. “Yeah, it was perfect.”

“… Wanna follow Evans and Prongs and crash their dessert too?”

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

Needless to say, Lily Evans was not happy with herself for hoarding her ‘Sirius Free Day’ coupons.

**Author's Note:**

> A little something light to get you over the middle of your week! I may or may not have written this after drinking half a bottle of wine... It's my Friday, don't judge me.
> 
> Shout out to Bunny, who sacrificed her train-nap in order to feed me brilliant lines and the perfect title. 
> 
> Thank you for all your lovely comments on the series so far! I quite enjoy them. 
> 
> Please leave a kudos/comment is you enjoyed this episode! Still to come: bad poetry, good poetry, cute kisses, roses, and an epic dance number. Consider yourself warned.
> 
> Remember! As long as your friend isn't proposing, it's totally cool to crash their date with your significant other (not that I speak with experience... I've never had a significant other... but I'm sure it'd be okay!)
> 
> Have a wonderful day/night, dear readers.
> 
> ps: I finally signed up for Pottermore and I got Gryffindor... like... wut? I was like 99 percent sure I was totally a Hufflepuff.


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